:: finding yourself ::

(photographing Iceland - taken by my sister, Liesl)

As many of you know, I took a transformative trip to Iceland last year with my youngest sister. I'd always known I wanted to travel there, but I didn't realize what a profound impact it would have on me. I know that sounds dramatic, but it's absolutely true. As I sit here today, weary from every day life and fresh off of a trip which was taxing and heartbreaking, I am longing for the vast and varied terrain of Iceland. Open road takes on a whole new meaning there. You can drive for miles and miles and not see another soul. While I love interacting with people, I also crave the serenity of nothingness. In this case, the nothingness is otherworldly landscapes not marred by signs or neon lights or, in most places, people. For me, my brain has a reset button, and one that I don't utilize often enough. I believe that to be true for just about everyone. For you, maybe it's not Iceland...maybe it's the beach, or the desert, or anywhere that lets your brain rest. Very rarely do we take the time to breathe. Really breathe. In Iceland, I felt like I could breathe again. I challenged myself in ways I didn't know I could. I was adventurous and open, smiling and breathing. In with the good, out with the bad. It's not realistic to think that we can live in our escape, but we can strive to be more mindful of what is stripping us of our peace on a daily basis and work to eliminate those toxins, so to speak. I am saying this knowing that I have a long way to go in this process. I'd like to think that since my Iceland experience, I have at least begun to tap into those inner resources that will allow me to breathe more easily. My personality is such that I tend to take on the weight of the world. I try not to, but it's just who I am. So my challenge is to figure out how to be true to my personality while also taking care of myself. I hate to think of myself as selfish...that word has such a negative connotation for me. I, along with many of you I'm sure, have to separate self care from the word selfish. Self care is necessary, not selfish. I'm learning that I cannot help others if I am tapped out. And I've been tapped out for a while. I wish I could travel to Iceland and beyond every few months, but obviously that's not a possibility. Since I have found that there is peace for me in exploration, I will work to do so more often than I have in the past. All I have to do is look at the tattoo that I got with my sister in Iceland and realize that I am strong and courageous and, yes, adventurous.

hugrökk kona, ævintyragjörn sál

courageous woman, adventurous soul